Drive Through Beer Store

Clerk:
	Thank you for choosing Beer King.  Can I take your order please?

Driver:
	(Barfs)

Clerk:
	Oh my god, are you Stephen Harper?

Driver:
	No.  Do I look like Stephen Harper.

Clerk:
	Well, yeah.  That’s kinda why I said that.

Driver:
Well I’m not.  What would a conservative MP be doing going through a drive through beer store?
Clerk:
Yeah, it doesn’t really make sense since it’s usually the liberals that use this location.  What can I get you, besides a napkin?

Driver:
	What have you got?

Clerk:
Well, we’ve got all sorts of gins, ryes, rums.  We’d have more vodka but the Russian National Hockey Team was just on tour through here and they cleaned us right out.

Driver:
	Wait a minute, I thought this was ‘Beer King’.

Clerk:
	It is.

Driver:
	Then why haven’t you listed off any beer?

Clerk:
Well we’ve been trying to branch out and quite frankly it looks like you need something a little stronger.

Driver:
	You got that right.  What have you got on special?

Clerk:
	Canadian tequila.

Driver:
	Canadian tequila?

Clerk:
	Yes, we have free range west coast tequila and farmed east coast tequila.

Driver:
	Do Canadians put a worm in it like the Mexicans do?

Clerk:
	No sir, a salmon.

Driver:
	(Barfs)

Clerk:
	Most people give that reaction.

Driver:
	Oh god, what am I doing?

Clerk:
	What are you doing?

Driver:
	I don’t know.  God, I need a drink.

Clerk:
	And a napkin.

Driver:
	And a napkin.  Thank you.

Clerk:
	No problem.  Look, is there anything I can help you with?

Driver:
	No, you’ve done enough, and isn’t there people behind me by now wanting some beer?

Clerk:
	Not yet.  It really doesn’t get too busy at 9am.

Driver:
	AM!?  I thought it was PM!

Clerk:
	Do you have lots of troubles with PMs, Mr Harper?

Driver:
	Yes.  What?  No!  I’ve got to be going.  What’s your cheapest special?

Clerk:
	A little number of 3 parts rum, 1 part coconut oil and 2 parts turpentine.

Driver:
	What’s it called?

Clerk:
	Toronto tap water.  I wouldn’t recommend drinking it this early though.

Driver:
	Fine, how much is that?

Clerk:
	It comes out to $19.95 even.

Driver:
	That’s even?

Clerk:
	It’s as even as our budget.

Driver:
	So, the liberals DO come here!

Clerk:
	Yes sir, they’re our number one customers.
 
Driver:
	Here.

Clerk:
	Thanks.  Hey, this is a fifty.

Driver:
	Yes.  I’d appreciate it if no one knew I was here, if you get my drift.

Clerk:
	But Paul Martin gave me a hundred to keep my mouth shut about him coming here.

Driver:
	I see, you do a good job of it too.

Clerk:
	As good as the NDP?

Driver:
	Well, you couldn’t possibly be worse.